Jake’s Story
Jake Osbourne , age 30
Canada
PSSD 12 years
To whom it may concern,
If you are reading this, I am grateful for you looking at this document and would implore you to read it in its entirety. It will lend critical information surrounding a silent epidemic currently being suffered by part of the human population. This epidemic does not discriminate based on age, sex, gender, or ethnicity and it has a tremendously negative impact on quality of life. It is a debilitating disease that has led countless sufferers to commit suicide. I am going to do my best to describe my experience to this point without hyperbole or sensationalism while effectively capturing and conveying the gravity of what it has meant to be in my body and mind for half of my existence.
My name is Jake Osborne and I am a 30 year old male. I have been suffering from Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction (a misnomer because symptoms extend far beyond the realm of impaired sexuality) from Prozac for 12 years. This makes me somewhat of an outlier in terms of my longevity and willingness to continue living with this condition, but I have refused to let it beat me. How exactly I got here and what the implications are of this condition are important to discuss in adequate detail. My story is somewhat different from other PSSD sufferers as I was never actually clinically depressed. Thus, it is impossible to dismiss my symptoms as depression.
In 2006 when I was 15 years old, I smoked cannabis a handful of times. I noticed persistent problems the day after the first time I smoked it, but I did not put two and two together as weed was supposed to be harmless. I developed Depersonalization/Derealization/“Brain Fog”, problems with memory, and socializing became incredibly challenging, particularly in group settings. Not knowing what was wrong with me caused considerable anxiety at the time and the issues persist to this day. It is important to note that I experienced no impairment whatsoever to my sexuality.
I saw countless doctors in my attempts to figure out what was wrong with me and how to fix it. In short, I was told that my consistent brain fog was “depression”. I was given a prescription for Zoloft in Spring 2007 and sent on my way. I took the month prescription with no effect. That fall I saw a psychiatrist who put me on Zoloft and continuously upped my dose as I was not experiencing any relief of symptoms.
When this failed to yield any effects (positive or negative) he switched me to Prozac because it was more “energizing”. Again, no results and ended up continuously increasing the dose. I noticed typical PSSD issues in Spring 2009. I had no idea that medication could be causing these issues and continued on Prozac until December 2009 at age 19, when I quit from either 10mg or 20mg after about 2 years total of being medicated. I have not taken an SSRI since.
Since Spring 2009, in addition to my preexisting cognitive symptoms, I have experienced the following issues from SSRI usage, which can be broken down into sexual and cognitive/other:
Sexual:
Reduced genital sensation
Severe erectile dysfunction
Diminished libido
Reduced response to sexual stimuli
Lack of morning/nocturnal erections
Soft glans
Penile shrinkage
Loss of genital size
Cognitive/other symptoms:
Elimination of creativity/imagination
Memory loss
Severe sleep impairment
Further depersonalization/derealization
Loss of drive/motivation
Loss of focus
Reduced overall cognitive abilities
Tardive Dyskinesia
I should also note that in 2017, this study came out demonstrating the effect of THC on the adolescent brain and validated what I have felt all these years. https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-017-11645-8 . It turns out that my brother experienced the same thing that I did from cannabis.
To say that PSSD has negatively impacted my life would be an understatement of tremendous magnitude. The implications of this cannot be remotely imagined by a normal person. In my opinion, healthy human sexuality is a requisite for being able to properly perceive and navigate the world, even things that seem totally removed from sexuality. It fuels many aspects of our personality and behavior without the average human being even realizing it – until it is taken away. In this manner, sexual drive is intrinsically linked with what it is to be human and, by extent, the drug I was given has effectively taken my humanity away from me.
The existence of PSSD can no longer be denied – thanks to the activism of some exceptional people, the European Medical Agency has recognized the disease and many peer reviewed studies have proven that SSRIs cause persistent negative effects on the genetic level.
While signs of this condition have been around for decades now, we are just now starting to build momentum and bring awareness in hopes of solving it. With current rates of medication, it is likely that many more people are experiencing some degree of PSSD than are currently recognized. The full extent of the risks of SSRIs must be brought into the spotlight and a mechanism found for their detrimental effects.
If you are receiving this document, you are being recognized as an expert that could assist this community in some way, whether it be through bringing awareness, performing research, or changing medical guidelines. I cannot overstate how big of an impact any contribution you could make to this community would be.
Unfortunately, it is too late for many whose existences have ended in self-inflicted tragedy as a result of PSSD. However, any support that you are willing to lend would mean the world to fellow human beings who have been suffering in total silence, with no one to help them, for far too long.
If you would like to reach out to me directly to talk about my experience, I can be reached at jake.t.b.osborne@gmail.com. I would love to speak to you.
Kind regards,
Jake Osborne